Don't stop the carnival
by Althesushiloveingfanficsage
Summary: Have you ever dreamed of escapeing from your dull existance to a new life on a tropical island? our story is about a man who did it, welcome one and all to the legend of keitaro papermon
1. the carnival begins

THE LEGEND OF KEITARO PAPERMON!  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own "The legend of Norman papermen." Nor do I own don't stop the carnival, I never even saw the book or musical versions, I just have the CD with songs written by jimmy buffet that were inspired by the story, I have a mild idea of how the story goes so I will invent one using what I know. I do not own any of the material that inspired this fix, though I do own Buddy the dog, Dizzy the weasel and myself  
  
Intro-  
  
Alex sat with his feet resting on a very large black dog, with a small weasel sleeping soundly on the arm rest of the couch he had in his room. The pair of animals had been his pets in America and they had just arrived via airmail, in a large crate.  
  
A sigh of relaxation escape Al's lips as he leaned back and sipped a tall cold root beer, days like this were made for slacking.  
  
Suddenly, like a toaster popping toast, Su shot into the room squealing like she had just found a map to a lost treasure horde of bananas.  
  
"Al, Al, AL! look what Su made!" she held out to him a small black box with a red button.  
  
"um.I 'm going to regret asking but, what's it do?"  
  
Su smiled that freaky smile of hers. "It's a reality switcher, it can alter reality so that something else happened, like someone was born somewhere else or someone dies or.anything a fan fiction author can do, like you!  
  
Alex threw a hand over Su's mouth. "SHHH, remember, if anyone other then you Sarah and mutsumi find out I'm a fan fic author I'll have to leave!"  
  
Su nodded, then jumped on the black dogs back and rode it down the stairs, out of the attic, leavening the device on the coffee table.  
  
Alex looked at it cautiously, he had restricted his power being author by sticking himself in the actual story, making it harder for him to do things that most authors could do, I.E make characters fall in love, kill people off, the only time he ever had that power now was in really stupid fics that made no sense. The box however, this box might give him the power to solve all the problems at the hinata house  
  
While he thought about this, he heard a very familiar noise, "AHHHH BAKA HENTAI!!!!" POW! "AHHHHHHHHHHIEEEEEEE!"  
  
Alex's wolf ears listened to the sound of kei screaming, then as fast as he could; Al grabbed the remote, opened the moon roof, and threw a big pillow under it, as keitaro fell through the moon roof opening!  
  
"Ow!" While Alex had predicted Kei's landing spot perfectly, he had thrown the pillow just a scooch too hard and it had gone past where keitaro landed.  
  
Alex helped Keitaro to his feet. "lemme guess, um.(he inspect keitaro) wet clothes, means it was the hot springs, splinters in hand, means you lost another mop, and cuts on left cheek and bruise on right mean Naru and motoko, am I right?"  
  
"nice, man this is getting old, I need a break."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"yeah, some days I wish I was just born a different person."  
  
"cool, let's use this device su made and see what that would be like."  
  
"WHA?"  
  
Alex pushes the button.  
  
Al- (in a gondoliers outfit) Have you ever dreamed of escaping from your dull existence to a new life on a tropical island? Well our story is about a man who did it, a real person;  
welcome one and all to the legend of Norman, papermon.  
  
(music starts and some beautiful girls in Hawaiian outfits sing, they seem  
to be outside a rundown old hotel called the gull reef club)  
  
Girls and Alex- dis is the legend of Norman papermon tales from the tropics we'll share, chasen illusions can get quite confusion is it daydream or a  
nightmare?  
dis is the legend of Norman papermon tales from the tropics we'll tell, chasen illusions can get quite confusion cause heaven can turn into hell.  
  
Al-(singing to keitaro who is confused, and in a Hawaiian flower shirt and  
shorts)  
Kinja's the name of the island,  
It's been kinja for 200 years,  
But remember paradise, doesn't come without a price,  
Let me make that abundantly clear.  
Kinja, our beautiful island,  
In a westward archipelago,  
We've been English French and Dutch, never seemed to matter much,  
Now we're officially Amerigo.  
  
The girls- We're Kinja,  
Still kinja,  
Our kinja!  
  
Al- shela, chef of the gull reef club!  
  
(shinobu walks out, with a tan that makes her look very much like nyamo)  
  
Shinobu- our ancestors came in da slave ships,  
To work for the privileged few,  
Who wore Paris fashions and lived in pink mansions,  
While we huddled in shacks of bamboo,  
Den da suga beet bring us our freedom,  
With the help of our god we got through, Insurrections beheading, funerals and weddings, hurricanes and a world war  
or two!  
  
All- hurricanes and a world war or two!  
We're Kinja,  
Still kinja,  
Our kinja!  
We're Kinja,  
Still kinja,  
Our kinja!  
  
Al- (points to himself) Gilbert, gondolier of the gull reef club  
Mr. church hill had at get some destroyers,  
To put old Hitler six feet below,  
FDR he pulled a nifty,  
Got our island for just fifty,  
And the limeys they pack up and go,  
We dance through the streets in celebration,  
The fireworks, they light up the sky,  
We got hotdogs and Harris,  
Coconuts and bowling not to mention the forth of July  
  
All- not to mention the forth of July  
  
(the music stops as Al grabs his pole and air guitars the first few notes  
of the national anthem, oddly enough, it makes music)  
  
All-  
We're Kinja,  
Still kinja,  
Our kinja!  
We're Kinja,  
Still kinja,  
Our kinja!  
  
(seta walks out in a suit, is tanned and smiling)  
  
Al- senator pullmen, the islands big enchilada!  
  
Seta- now the Yankees, day come with dar dollars,  
It's a beehive of activity,  
Sell them crawfish and rum, keep them dizzy and numb,  
Oh we're like dis prosperity,  
We got new holidays for celebration,  
We got new laws but no one complies,  
We crawfish and mangos,  
Calypso and tangos,  
Ah but we're short on our water supply.  
  
All- but we're short on our water supply.  
  
(music plays as seta breaks out into a ridiculous break dance)  
  
All-  
We got the carnival,  
Don't stop the carnival,  
We love the carnival  
CAR-NA-VAL  
We got the carnival,  
Don't stop the carnival,  
We love the carnival  
CAR-NA-VAL  
  
Al- and our story begins,  
  
All-  
dis is the legend of Norman papermon tales from the tropics we'll tell, chasen illusions can get quite confusion cause heaven can turn into hell.  
  
AL- THE LEGEND OF NORMAN, PAPERMON!  
  
a/n, ok guys, so far so good, I like this, read and review please. 


	2. welcome tho Kinja

Disclaimer- I Don't own Norman paperman, don't stop the carnival, or love hina, the idea just came from listening to the soundtrack so don't kill me. All I own is myself and buddy, and dizzy.  
  
Keitaro is sitting on a plane with Naru sitting next to him, sleeping quietly.  
  
Keitaro- where am I? (seeing Naru cuddling his arm) WHA!  
  
Flight attendant- (walks up to him) Can I help you sir? (smiles an unnatural smile)  
  
Keitaro- uh sure.coke please.  
  
F/A- certainly (hands him a coke) if you need anything more just ask (walks away)  
  
Keitaro- (takes a sip and then notices some writing on the napkin the nurse gave him.  
  
Napkin- Meet me in the bathroom NOW! Sincerely, Al.  
  
Kei- Al? what's he doing here, more importantly, what am I? doing here?  
  
(kei goes into the bathroom and looks around.)  
  
Kei- hello? AL?  
  
Dizzy climbs out of the paper towel roll and hand kei a phone number on a peace of paper, with the words, ask for Gilbert.  
  
Kei- uh thanks dizzy but I don't have a cell (dizzy jumps into a pocket of the pants kei's wearing and pulls out a cellphone)  
  
Kei oh.ok. (keitaro dials and wonders if the plane will crash because of his portable electronic device.)  
  
Ring Ring Ring  
  
Voice- Hello this is the gull reef club, how may I help you?  
  
Kei- um hi.is Gilbert there?  
  
Voice- one moment sir  
  
(two moments later)  
  
Gilbert- hello?  
  
Keitaro- hello this is keitaro urashima and.  
  
Gilbert- KEITARO! This is Al.give the phone to dizzy.  
  
Keitaro hands the phone to dizzy, who pushes a button and a small chibi Al hologram floats before kei.  
  
Kei- wow, cool, where are we?  
  
Al- your flying over the ocean, heading to a little island called kinja.  
  
Keitaro- Kinja?  
  
Al- yeah didn't you pay any attention to the opening song? It told you all about Kinja, anyway, and your not urashima any more, you are Keitaro Papermon.  
  
Keitaro- WHA?  
  
Al- you asked for a different life, so you are now a different person, you're a big shot from new York, and well.maybe a little song will help.  
  
Al plays some music from the cell phone and suddenly Keitaro knows exactly what to say and sing.  
  
Keitaro- (speaking) I was born on an island, the island of Manhattan, dreamt all my life of a career on the great white way, Producer Keitaro papermon, director Keitaro papermon, and I made it, sort of an off the wall way, I found my calling, listen.  
  
Keitaro- (singing) Up every morning,  
Out every evening,  
Hustling for headlines that's what I do.  
Table at Sardie's,  
Grappling for gossip,  
Working the press for a mention or two,  
I never acted like some nervous rookie,  
Right form the start I was, hot like a cookie,  
I was a numero uno, what a début!  
  
Public relations, public relations,  
Booseing and shmooseing,  
That's what I do,  
New York's my location, and I'm a sensation,  
Public relation, such hullabaloo!  
  
But I went full throttle.  
Never could slow down,  
Then out of nowhere a mild heart attack,  
Middle aged crises,  
Faced the big questions,  
Had to get off of this foolish fast track,  
It all started out as an ad in the paper,  
Now it's turned into a tropical caper,  
But it's only public relations, and that's what I do.  
  
Public relations, public relations,  
Ego inflation, that's what I do.  
Isn't it wonderful isn't it fabulous,  
Public relation, such hullabaloo.  
  
(The music fades and kei stops)  
  
Kei- Wow, I have a theme song.  
  
Al- so now you know all about your new life, your going south to try and take it easy, with your wife.  
  
Kei- WIFE!?!  
  
Al- oh yeah, check out the ring (he points)  
  
Kei- Holy crap! Who did I marry?  
  
Al- a women named Henny Narusegawa.  
  
Keitaro- you.you mean Naru?  
  
Al- yeah, in this world her name is henny; now get out there, the planes about to land.  
  
Kei- ok, where should I meet you?  
  
Al- just keep a hold of dizzy, I'll find you.  
  
Kei- ok, whatever (puts dizzy in pocket)  
  
Keitaro walks back out and sits next to Naru, who has a wedding ring as well.  
  
Kei- Thank you god! (he whispers)  
  
Naru- (waking up) hmm? Oh hi sweetie, are we there yet?  
  
Keitaro- uh..yeah, we should be landing shortly.  
  
Naru- pity, I wanted to see if we could try to have a little fun in one of those bathrooms.  
  
Keitaro- Wha! (is surprised he doesn't nosebleed)  
  
Naru- I know, seems a bit dangerous, but I hate always being the nervous wife, sex is the only thing I am brave with, but it's only because of you hon. (she cuddles with him and tears stream down his face)  
  
Kei- (thinking) Alex if I find you I will buy you the biggest slurpie in Kinja.  
  
(after landing and wandering a bit, Kei sees his calling, it just screams his name with a for sale sign in front of it.)  
  
Naru- (singing) give this some thought kei, things can get sticky,  
Here in the tropics wine turns to glue.  
  
Kei- (looking out over the sea) I've never seen such, beautiful ocean.  
  
Naru- holy sweet Jesus, he's got no clue.  
  
Kei- I'll buy this place I am, expatriating.  
  
Naru- (getting intimate) you as a land lord sounds, intoxicating.  
  
Both- but it's only public relations, so whose screwing who?  
  
Kei- no not that old kiosk, of yakking and waking,  
Making folks happy, that's what I'll do.  
Sun shine and sea air, palm trees martinis,  
That's what I yern for like (points at random people)  
You, you and you!  
  
Keitaro and Naru arrive at the gull reef club; the place keitaro wants to buy. It's a rundown old hotel, but before they buy, they decide to see a lunch show.  
  
(on stage)  
Al- and now, ladies and gents, da gull reff club is proud to present,  
The spirit of da island, and truly da best cook eva to grace us,  
Sheila!  
  
Shinobu- (walks out with a big pot)  
Today me happy folks, I'm gonna make you all a big pot of Caliloo.  
(begins cooking and singing at the same time)  
  
Al, Kitsune, Su and Sarah- Calliloo, strange calliloo, mysterious curious  
brew,  
Try as you might to avoid the whodo,  
Sooner or later we're all in da stew,  
  
Shinobu- From here in my kitchen I watch da whole scene,  
Life on dis islands a unique cuisine,  
It simmers and bubbles and looks quiet routine,  
Till somebody spill all da beans!  
  
Al, Kitsune, Su and Sarah- Calliloo, strange calliloo, mysterious curious  
brew,  
Try as you might to avoid da hoodoo,  
Sooner or later we're all in da stew.  
  
Shinobu- night after night on dat terrace out dare,  
Plays a mellow drama, could equal Shakespeare,  
Da may tell themselves dat somehow day are not,  
Best take it from me we're all in da same pot.  
  
Al, Kitsune, Su and Sarah- Calliloo, strange calliloo, mysterious curious  
brew,  
Try as you might to avoid the whodo,  
Sooner or later we're all in da stew,  
  
(much dancing and ingredient adding goes here)  
  
Al and Sarah- hey, hey shela,  
  
Kitsune and Sarah- hey, hey shela,  
  
All- hey, hey shela, what's in that caliloo?  
  
Al, and sarah- Hey shela tell us,  
  
Kitsune and Su- hey shela tell us,  
  
All- Hey shela tell us, whats in that caliloo.  
  
Shinobu- (Adds the items as she sings)  
We got some crawfish,  
Pig tail,  
Squid ink and fish scale,  
Okra and dasheen leaves,  
Chit chat and chatter,  
Fill up da platter,  
With a garnish of pure make beleave!  
  
Calliloo, strange calliloo, mysterious curious brew,  
Though some may think that somehow they are not,  
Make no mistake we're all in the same pot.  
  
Shinobu- take it from me dis is no Camelot!  
  
(the music ends and everyone is served a big bowl of caliloo, which, like  
all shinobu meals, tastes great!)  
  
A/N ok, many character have changed do to Kei's wish, like say, shinobu have a Jamaican accent, but it's only because of his wish, you will find  
traces of in character actions later.  
Read and review. 


End file.
